Refrigeration Repairman

I am having problems with my refrigerator. The light comes on when I open the door, but it doesn’t refrigerate much of anything. So I called the repairman. He said he would stop by at ten o’ clock in the morning and to be sure and sit breathlessly by the phone waiting for his call. So naturally it was seven at night when I get the call. He was outside my door waiting to get in.

I let him in and we followed the trail of melted crap on the floor that oozed from the fridge.

“That’s why I like to come in late at night,” he said. “It’s easy to figure out where the refrigerator is. All I have to do is follow the trail of melted crap on the floor. It works every time.” He had a point. I did not even have to show him. He led and I followed. Then he looked at my unit and shook his head from side to side.

“Nowadays I just tell people to just throw their refrigerators away,” he said.

“What?”

“Well, it’s an old unit. Freon based. You have to upgrade to the newest technology.”

“Meaning I have to throw it away.”

“That’s what I said.”

“But I thought you were a repairman.”

“I am. That’s why I am telling you to throw it out.”

“Isn’t there anything you can do?”

“Not much. They didn’t teach us much at refrigeration school. All they said was: ‘When you’re hot, you’re hot.’”

“And when you’re not you’re not?”

“That’s about all they taught us.”

“But everybody who listens to the radio knows that. I don’t need a refrigeration repairman to tell me that.”

“Hey, buddy, you’re the one who called me.”

“That I did,” I had to admit it. I was beginning to wonder why I called, but I did call. Yes, I did.

“And when I got here you asked me what I thought.”

“I did. And all you have to say is the title of a Jerry Reed song?”

“Well, I do have one other thing to say. That’s fifty bucks for the service call.”

“I can’t believe this. How much did you pay for your training?”

“Two thousand dollars. About the cost of a new refrigerator.”

“I don’t feel so hot,” I said.

“Well at least something is cooling off around here,” he said.